shakaii

I used to think I could do something good My brain would catch fire and my eyes would ignite I knew deep down my time was coming But never realized how soon it would be Thoughts of suicide filled my mind And I couldn't replace them with what a kid should own Since you stole my veins and I have no blood So now I just lie in bed cold Sometimes I'm almost reptilian Sticking a foot out of the bed despite warmth But scars on my skin shriek from the air Telling me to go out with a bang I hate you for making me hate the stars I had a dream that I could hide behind Now I'm forced to deal with human dilemmas You knew I had potential energy to end i

Before I knew it, the weather was warm again Winter wasn't that cold, but it had its moments Now thirties and forties have gone up in tens And the magnolia trees are waking up in a daze Driving with the windows down brings a cool breeze The smell of plant life beginning to grow Fills the small space that I call my heart Expanding its horizons beyond highway networks And the sunsets here are better in the summer Evenings in which I spend my time outside Music wafting with lazy dragonflies in grass fields Venus making its appearance as I gaze at the sky The sky tends to fall into an earthy orange Yet today it's lavender with remnants of blue

Ghosts of past seniors live in the Little Theater White names scrawled on black walls like fogged breath on glass I don't think they fade but who the names belong to are gone Graduated into oblivion and undecided majors Ghosts stare at me when I sit in the Little Theater Backstage waiting for my time to come on The choir singing Christmas carols to the shepherd's people And I'm gazing at shadowed walls with empty souls drawn Ghosts call to me when I wait in the Little Theater Ready to go on after the choir leaves How do you create a sound that represents nostaglia that isn't mine? It's an echo from voices resounding through my ears Ghosts

Why did you bring forth tears to my eyes? Life in lost direction Like a passing fleet of warships in the distance I seem to have left something there Something slipped behind my eyes Now I'm a ghost with physical form Without the release of rigor mortis No returning to dust for me It made sense in the moment but Now it's a dead language Much like Latin, without the history But you're still my evil spirit I could only love in time's context It came in waves, or all at once Like pending tears with death of emotion Had I thought our love was immortal

The night is looming Reaching to drop below freezing You said I'd have to throw myself in order to fall I said I'd just look to myself And I saw the inertia in your eyes When I threw my truth somewhere far I got lost in retribution along the way As usual, I'm just tired Of hopes and fears, the latter is loss So in that case, you'll never get anything from me You grace my eyes as a sleepy stranger Faceless in the dead of polar nights I grasp into the airy void Taking steps without a ground My silence has parted lips and eyes Unseen by judgement's shallow sea You said that you didn't need comrades But I'm attached to that word to the point

I need to delete my search history Since some say that bodies are temples But all are ruins at my feet I'm a cacophony of of awe and terror and joy And even spectres get tired But there's no rule saying parasites can't be pretty There's this variety of sadness in my guts Making a hole there that intends to stay I itch to recall when it first came upon me Another thing I can't tell but that's fine since Worse than having too many secrets Is having no secrets at all

All my eclipses had rain A blanket of gray tears Blocking beams of a silver lining Yet a reflector in the plains Some kind of beauty deluded Awake in unknown places Hurricanes making their way towards me Late enough to return September I vomit trapped souls Whilst dwelling solely in my mind Tired of chewing on iron chains Giving in to my broken teeth Providence is a concept But accusations of reversal are made known The world is bleeding with apathy Indifferent to a stormy-eyed Death And as I scream into the void Of a world that cannot hold The hurricane passes with torrential rain Soaking figures in the fog The air smells like dew and y

For the first time in years, there came a feeling I thought I’d forgotten My chest flooded with warm pain and a burst of flowers among my ribs I felt dread and carbonation in the pit of my stomach I felt love for a girl who I know could kill me if she wanted to Burning me with her charisma and charring my bones I felt love for a girl who, in a way, is indeed the sun ‘Cause she’s so far out of my reach and I can only reflect her light Being the simple space rock I am, I just gaze I just gaze until her plasma brands itself into me long after it starts to hurt With my craters as my losses and windless surface my skin Her suns

I was a child I was rage I remember every face I've ever seen Being was strange But full of splendor Yet due to innocence forgotten I lost my halo and wings I was a child I was rage I was a child I was rage It's like I've disconnected from this world From every human I've ever met Am I a ghost? Can I still be an angel? I'm in a bad place either way I was a child I was rage I was a child I was rage Sinking in a submarine Below seas of blood and nail polish Dissolving the planets and their clouds No stars or nebulas Mystical adventures crawling out of my brain I was a child I was rage I was a child I was rage I attempted to fake a sense of